continue on stumbling...

Hi everyone,

I know that not too many people read this, and that this is purely a blog for my own enjoyment, so I don't update it all that much.

So, I am still reading this book for school called Stumbling on Happiness. There was a part that really struck me. He used the initials of famous people that have been in great tragedies in their lives, and have come out of them seeming to be more enlightened people. He used the examples of Lance Armstrong, Christopher Reeves, and a couple others. They are quoted after all the bad stuff that happened to them, as saying that they would not have changed a thing. As if these tragedies are a learning experience...which they are.

I have some people around me, that I care deeply for. They go to my church, and I would do anything in my abilities for them. Recently, they are going through a really grave time. It is something that I pray for them every day about. It is nothing that I can do anything about really, it is something that they have to work through. The amazing part of watching them go through it, is seeing them grow and blossom. I mean, the music created, the love that I see among them, and the hope in their eyes just inspire me.

I have not really been through many traumatic things in my life. I have never gone paralyzed, had cancer, or anything like that, but I do know that there is a loving God in heaven that watched over me.

I thought that losing my Father was the hardest thing that I would have to go through in my life. I mean, I guess you could pin that as my traumatic thing, but it did not stop me. It was like a speed bump. A short thing that you must cross over with your car.

I remember when I was probably 15 or 16, hanging out with some friends. My friend Danny would drive a lot, because none of us had out licenses. I felt bad, and would give him gas money when I could. Our one friend...Darren...lived in a neighborhood with what we called "mile-high speed bumps." They were so bad, that we would have him sometimes meet us at the front of his development.

Anyway, those speed bumps would always scrape the bottom of the car, but the car kept running. It was a Beretta that he drove. They are small cars! Anyway, it kinda felt like that, like I was the car, and I was driving myself. I saw it up ahead the whole time, my Father's death. I just could do nothing to stop it. Prolonging it was keeping him on the medication, and keeping him alive. All he wanted to do at a certain point was go home to be with his Daddy(God). So, during that time, me as my little car self went over the "mile-high speedbump" of him passing away. It was hard, and it is still hard some days, but I get through it.

My friends will too, and they will be better, more enlightened, people for it.

Fireproof...

So, last night I watched a movie with a bunch of friends called Fireproof. The movie was not at all academy-award winning. I don't think Kirk Cameron is a great actor, nor do I find any of the other actors and actresses great.

It did however have a good message. I mean, Kirk Cameron is a firefighter that is very close to ending his marriage to his wife. He works 24 hour shifts, and then is off for two days. He doesn't help around the house. His wife just works all the time doing PR for a hospital. His Father hands him a book called the Love Dare.

He does it, and comes to God...I won't tell you the rest.

Anyway, so after the movie I immediately thought of my brother and Jamie. I bought them the book in hopes that they might do it, and a change will happen.

It also got me thinking, I mean, I am very very very far from being a perfect person. I, in no way, have called myself that. Being a perfect person would come with a lot of responsibility. I mean, Jesus, man, he had a lot going on, and he was perfect.

This presents me with a challenge for myself, a "Dare" if you will. These basic principles could be applied to my walk with God, right? I mean, in the movie when they are next to that cross, and his Father asked him how can you love someone unconditionally, when all they do is hurt you? Of course this was referencing God's love for us, but really, it is kind of a personal dare. What am I going to let God do in my life. How am I going to let him change me? Will I do that?

Who knows? Only God does.

I am not so good at this...

I am just not so good at this blogging thing. My week was a little bit traumatic. I worked the weekend for the first time, and it went smoothly. I also came down with a sickness called hand, foot, and mouth disease. It has got to be the weirdest thing ever.

Monday, I had a day off, and had lunch with my friend Bill. Him and I went to Iron Hill, and it was nice. We went there and had a nice lunch, and I came home. Although, I noticed that I wasn't really hungry. I went on about my day, and went to the after school program, where I volunteer. I made the posters, and some other things that needed to be done for the bible lesson. It was fine, but I just got really, really hot there. I had been really cold earlier on in the day. So, after things were over, I went home and took my temperature.

It was 102.7. It started at 100.7, and just progressively got worse. I went to bed early that night, freezing cold, but sweating all night.

I woke up the next morning and the temperature had passed. I wrote it off as some kind of freak thing that happened, and went to work. After work, I went to the Limestone Medical Aid Unit. I met a really nice Nurse Practitioner. I peed for them, and then was prescribed an antibiotic. I went to work the next morning like normal, went to get labs drawn, Panera, then class.

Thursday I went to work, but noticed my hands were very bumpy and itchy. I showed a nurse and asked her what it was. She said that I should go home, and also that I should see a doctor.

So, here I am, don't rock me like a hurricane. I have been house-bound for about a day and a half. I am going stir-crazy.

When life hands you lemons...make lemonade, right?

been awhile...

I was reading an article on the internet about blogging, and how to properly do it. It said that you should blog every day, and be consistent with it.

I have to disagree on this one. Blogging means so many different things to so many different people. Some people blog to let loose, and let their feelings flow. Some people blog because they want their ideals out there. I blog simply because it makes me happy. I get to let the world(or whoever might read this), know how I feel, and what I want to do about it...which is nothing, but it is interesting to think about the rules of blogging.

I don't agree that there should be "rules". I mean, I read the blog of a guy that I met, and it was extremely cynical with a link to the anarchist's cookbook and things like that. Not my style...

It is so simple to just blog. No rules...no pre-conceived notions. Just good...clean...fun.

Well, something else I have been thinking about has been bothering me. So, as a Christian, I am supposed to leave the judging to God, right?

Well, I am also human. I do my best not to judge people, but when I get cut-off on the highway, and under my breath call that person an a**hole, that is my human nature taking over. It is so engrained in our society that it is okay to do that. It is not. How can I stop myself? Why is it that this is so hard?

God help me...and he will.

new friends...

So, I had the day off yesterday, and I think I wrote two blog entries...

I am wondering how I can get a website address that includes my name. Something like www.rachelcoates.com, or something along those lines.

That would be really really fun.

Do we ever really know that we are all constantly searching for new things.

I am constantly on the search for new people to touch their lives in a very positive way.

I am hoping that Bill keeps coming to kinship. He came out last night, and we had a really good talk today over lunch. He is a good guy. I am really glad that Debbie found him. They both are awesome people, that I love very much.

I need to take more pictures. I realized this when I was trying to use my camera. Thank God I found all the pieces that I needed for it.

more complicated then it has to be...

In my person opinion, I feel that God has made things simple for us. Love and worship Him, and he will be there for us. He wants us to serve him. Not for any other reason then the world needs it, and it is part of the Great Commission.

This book, Stumbling on Happiness that I am reading, is making me think. I am listening to it, right now, laying on my bed. There really is no other reason that I can blame the complication of life, then the fall of man. When Eve bit into the apple, it brought silly things into the world. Things like confusion, car accidents, alexithymia, or silly psychological studies that really have nothing to do with anything.

Most psychological experiments, in my humble opinion, are proven wrong on a regular basis. You might have 100 people that all believe that the earth is flat. Psychologists do studies on these people, and may even send a satellite into space to prove them wrong. But then after this whole big expensive study is done, they find 200 people that believe it is a square. More satellites come...more psychologists, and their mediums come along. Things are proven right and wrong. Other things are proven a moot point.

Does it all really matter. I have chosen to be a very simple person. I don't need much to be a happy person. I mean, life has its trials and troubles, but overall, I am happy. I live my life for others. I want to help people, I want to hang out with the kids around me, and I also want to do many things before I die. I do not have things that I need in the morning to wake up. I enjoy a good cup of coffee, but I am perfectly fine with what my Mom makes in the morning. I have no problems at all with being stuck at my job, with nothing to wear or shower with.

Things are much more readily available than we want to believe. It is simple...

Here's to my sanity...

I am off today. Nothing is going on, except that I have class tonight. It is good to have days off during the week.

That means that I am going to work weekends now. Scary! This Thursday, I am going to classes to get DuPont certified as a nurse's aide. I am somewhat excited about it. I mean, if I am eventually going to become a nurse, I have to start somewhere, right?

So, I am going to get trained on wiping butts, and feeding babies. I am working with Jason. This means that I am getting gowned up and going into rooms. Finally, I am going to be shown how to do things.

It is exciting to me, and I am not sure why I mean there is no reason for me to truly be excited. It is not a pay raise, or anything really special. I am just doing a different job.

I just feel that we can be very complacent in our jobs, and our lives. It is not that I don't like my job, I am just very bored with it sometimes. I also have class during the week, and do not sleep very much when I am Monday-Friday all the time.

Monday-Friday, 7-3. I feel like it was the job that everyone wanted on the unit. All the aides would talk about how that is what they wanted, and I was the one that had it, but I was just frustrated with the whole thing. By Friday, it was like I entered into another world as a Zombie. I can't stand having days that seem like they never end. I am hoping that this will change, and I will not have to take as many vacations to even stay afloat.

And now for something completely different...

Men's body wash commercials...

I think men's body wash commercials are hilarious. It wasn't a minute after Dove came out with their men's body wash that another brand was on TV saying "Do you want to smell like some bird? Smell like a real man." The bottle that was on the screen was gray just like the Dove, and it had a lighter gray random bird on it that purposefully was not a Dove. I mean really, they compare that soon.

I think it is silly in society that we all are comparing one thing to the other. People have preferences...and that is cool. I don't really care. I am a Honda and Mac fan. You might be a Toyota, and Dell fan. I have my opinions about both, and you have your opinions about both. Do you see the pattern. I will never buy another PC again, because I have fully switched over to a Mac. I had a bad experience with one, and am sick of them needing to be fixed all the time. I buy a Mac, and it just works. Now you might have had a wonderful experience with Dell. Maybe you bought one with Windows 7, and love it. That is wonderful.

Do you get my point? We are silly as a society. I hope that you can look at yourself and laugh. I know that I do. I laugh at myself...don't worry, its not at you.

Hello my fellow earthlings...

Sometimes it is so hard to me to be able to just do very simple things that someone else may be able to do very easily.

And when I say this I am taking about getting rid of clothes, or getting rid of older things. I wish that I could just pay someone that would do it for me. I hate cleaning my room, because it means that I have to think about what is really important to me. Everything is important to me! From the teddy bear that a friend gave me 10 years ago, to the Hallmark card that someone took the time to go to the store and buy me after my Father passed away.

I wouldn't say that I am a packrat exactly, but I need assistance. Anyone want to help?

Although, there is probably not too many people reading this because I do not publicize the blog. All it is right now, is me using someone's template, and me writing down very random thoughts that I obtain through my life. It is a way for me vent to the world, and yet a place for me to find a little bit of sanity, in this insane place that I call earth.

So, today, my nephew grabbed some really random object and began imitating Biz Markieon Biz's Beat Of The Day on Yo Gabba Gabba. It was pure hilarity...Imagine the little guy at the top with a short wand of some sort that came from a game he has imitating is..

The previous entry is just a cute video that I want to keep somewhere. I loved it, and wanted you all to see it...that is if anyone is reading this right now...

Not sure if this is going to work...

Pondering...

So for school, I am reading a book called "Stumbling on Happiness". It is a book by an Ivy League school professor, that actually admits to not having it all together. His name is Daniel Gilbert.

He admits to loving God, and being loved by God, and he also admits that he may not be right.

The book is expanding his primary thought base of everyone having different definitions of happiness. Some look at their eternal happiness, while other are looking for their immediate happiness.

It got me thinking. I noticed that in many aspects of my life, I focus on the things that people have not done, instead of the wonderful things that they have done.

It is kinda like when your friend gives you a hug for doing something for them, but then asks later why you didn't do it sooner, or why the present you got them wasn't the other thing.

Why are we not happy as a society about what we have. What are we constantly looking for the next best thing? Daniel Gilbert calls it "Nexting". I think I mentioned it in another blog post.

I just wonder why when I am at work, and have done a bunch of stuff for the unit, I get asked why something was not done.

It is really annoying me. Every single one of us does it in one way or another.

Often times we don't realize that we are doing it. Instead of criticizing, I say that we should try being thankful when someone does something for you.

What do you think?

new friends...

It is such a strange feeling logging onto my computer. I have it pre-programmed with all my passwords, and all of my person information. It is like it knows me that well. I am glad to have it. It feels like a new friend that I am getting to know quite well.

Have you ever just been sick of people? I mean, I just get sick of people, and sick of myself. I get sick of myself in my own skin. Not that I want to completely transform into someone else, I just want to do it for like a day or two. Someone really interesting, like The Dalai Llama(SP?). Anyway, it would just be interesting to see the world through someone else's eyes for a day. Dontcha think?

I got that spelling from the ever-loved Pussycat Dolls song. Stupid Pussycat Dolls.

Anyway, yesterday was my first day back to work...also Debbie's birthday...and also the last day of the East End's existence.

That is so weird how that place just up and closed. Even people that go there all the time did not know it was going to close.

Weird.