Saturday, November 6, 2021

Eternal Wanderer

 More thoughts are on my mind.

Fentanyl use is at an all-time high. I miss my brother. Like seriously miss my brother. I know that I said goodbye and mourned him a long time ago, but the simple thought that he is not around anymore to be near his kids breaks my heart. I do not miss Jaime...not even in the least. I miss my niece and nephew like crazy. It makes me sad that it took my brother's death to reunite us. Kenny too. I hope we stay in touch. I dread his first heavenly birthday. I do not know if I can do it. I will have to though because that is all that I can do. I know that God is in control and He is getting me through this. 

I'm also very bummed about the pizza party tonight. Maybe it is the universe telling me to not eat pizza. Evan is not vaccinated, but he is very careful. He will get tested until the cows come home, but not the vaccine. I think if I didn't work in healthcare or be required by my job, I wouldn't either. I do believe in vaccines. It is just annoying that because he isn't vaccinated, we can't go to hang out with people. I guess this is a situation that is truly dividing people and showing their priorities. I guess I just rushed to get schoolwork done for nothing. Oh well. Maybe another time? It just makes me mad because these people said they wanted to meet him. Do they really? I'm guessing not. I guess if they can't accept him, they don't want me there either subconsciously. That's okay. I'll be okay. This is just something else to get through.

You learn who your real friends are through trial and error. I know that I will calm down, but I'm just pissed. I am vaccinated, but I do not think that anyone should be forced into anything as long as they are safe. I know a lot of unvaccinated people. Some have gotten Covid and some have not. A vaccine isn't full-proof. It is 95% effective, not 100%. Anyone can get it. ANYONE. Separating people into categories does not help very much. Division among people is definitely from Satan.

Dividing people by their sexuality, vaccination status, skin color, or anything else is not right. Not right at all. If you don't like a person because of these issues, just stay away from them. Do not enter the spaces where you feel "attacked." Keep your issues to yourself. Let people be who they want to be. They are all God's creations, no matter what. Who are we to judge them?