Racism doesn't make sense!

My brain hurts from reading so much about systemic racism.

Racism doesn't even make sense to me at all. White Supremacy doesn't even make sense. What defines a "master race"? What makes anyone better than the other. I just don't get it.

Ahmaud Arbery is yet another example of senseless violence that did not gain justice until the video was seen by the world. Georgia does not have hate crime laws. Obviously, the two men that were arrested fall into the White Supremacist group. This should not happen. I love all the hashtags all over that really are giving him justice.

When I was little, I lived in a neighborhood where we were the minority. We were the only white family on the street, but that did not change a thing. We were accepted and loved by everyone! The guy that was the guardian of Grover street was named Frank. I was afraid of him my whole life and I never knew why. When I was older, I finally gave him a chance and he became one of my favorite people on the block. Yes, Frank dealt drugs to provide for his family, not that I am condoning that. He was providing for his family.

I was surrounded by many cultures on that street. So much so that when I moved to Delaware, it almost felt weird to be in a mostly white neighborhood. Why do people need to segregate? Why can't all people live together in one big neighborhood?

I understand the term "ghetto." This word refers to a group of people that choose to live in the same place. It gets used out of context so much. There are Jewish ghettos, there are Spanish ghettos. Any nationality can have one. Calling someone ghetto doesn't make sense.

Can we just accept people for who they are? I almost want to rip my skin off to show the world that underneath the skin, we are all the same organs, muscles, cells, and blood. What makes anyone different?

CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN IT TO ME?????

No, you cannot explain it to me, because it just will not make sense. My other neighbors Bee and George, God rest their souls, were two of the kindest people I have ever met. They would let us play in their backyard at any time. George would sit on the back porch with his cigar and a sweet tea. Bee would sit on the front stoop with her coffee and cigarette. They were just cool people. Everyone on the block...they were just cool people. In fact, when I moved to Delaware, I was thankful to find my current church that put me in touch with Freedom Outreach.

Freedom Outreach changed my life. I live my life as a better person and try to soak up every minute and live for God. God is who makes us who we are.

White Privilege is terrible. Why does it exist? Yes, I am white, but that does not define me as a person. Yesterday, I brewed kombucha and listened to Old School Rap.

Today, I did schoolwork and listened to worship. Your taste in music doesn't define you, your skin does not define you. You define you. Don't fit into any stereotype.

You Be You.

Facebook

I am not sure how to say this. I am not sure what this is going to do when I put this out on the Internet, but during this quarantine, how good is social media?

Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, and all the rest of them. During this time, over 90% of the world is sitting at home, either because they are working from home, or they are sick. Quarantine has caused many of that 90% to spend more time online. Some are connecting with family over Zoom or some other way, but there are so many that are alone.

Many elderly people are home alone. Some do not even have any family nearby to check on them. So many people are spending more time on social media watching people post pictures of their significant other, their dogs, their children. These instances happen to take the lonely person that is sitting at home to a very dark place.

Some long for that kind of companionship, others do not know what to long for anymore. Some have outlived their significant other, children, and other family members. Some have drifted apart from family members and are just plain alone.

Please be aware of these people. Be aware of what you are posting online. Be aware of your surroundings. I do not plan on sharing this blog with anyone, this is just a reminder for myself, not to get caught up in being lonely.

Yes, I am alone, but God is my strength. I am not lonely. Jesus is the one that matters. I do not need to pay attention to all of the people that are surrounded by family and friends in their quarantine because that is who they live with.

I live with my Mom, my lovely mom that has no clue what is happening in my life. She does not know that I find myself aching for someone to be with. Not sure if I am looking for a husband quite yet, I'm not there. I'm just looking for friends, someone to be in contact with. Someone to help me with my homework. Someone.

Be aware of the lonely people.

Healthcare workers unite!

Hello, my name is Rachel and I am a unit clerk at a children’s hospital. I am writing this today because if you don’t find a way to express yourself during such a time as this, your brain might implode.

I am writing this as a health care worker and as a person. Healthcare workers are people too. We are doctors, nurses, nurses’ aides, housekeeping, contractors, security, social workers, hospital administration, the IT professionals, nutritionists, and so many more people. We are not just a few people; we are a team. This team did not ask for a pandemic, but we are doing our best to work through it.

There are lots of hospitals that are so overwhelmed and very understaffed. There are other hospitals that are trying to find solutions to help those hospitals because like I said before, we are a team. Healthcare professionals work as a team.

This pandemic requires very little to control. You do not need to be a superhero. You do not need to know how to fly or fight in a war. All you have to do is STAY HOME! If you have to go somewhere, WEAR A MASK! DO NOT wear gloves at the grocery store. Wash and sanitize your hands! 

Yes, this quarantine has been so hard, mentally, and physically it has been so hard. Staying at home by yourself or even with your family is very hard. Please reach out to your friends over the phone, over zoom, or any other avenue you have to keep in touch.

I do not know how I would get through it without God. I need Him to be with me every day. I need my friends from all over! I need people! Everyone needs people.

Working in a hospital even gets lonely. Things change constantly in healthcare. We have many requirements on us that are taxing. We are tired. This is not a call for pity, this is just my way of asking you to please do your part. Check on the elderly around you. Be a light in this world, don't contribute to all the darkness all around us.

continue on stumbling...

Hi everyone,

I know that not too many people read this, and that this is purely a blog for my own enjoyment, so I don't update it all that much.

So, I am still reading this book for school called Stumbling on Happiness. There was a part that really struck me. He used the initials of famous people that have been in great tragedies in their lives, and have come out of them seeming to be more enlightened people. He used the examples of Lance Armstrong, Christopher Reeves, and a couple others. They are quoted after all the bad stuff that happened to them, as saying that they would not have changed a thing. As if these tragedies are a learning experience...which they are.

I have some people around me, that I care deeply for. They go to my church, and I would do anything in my abilities for them. Recently, they are going through a really grave time. It is something that I pray for them every day about. It is nothing that I can do anything about really, it is something that they have to work through. The amazing part of watching them go through it, is seeing them grow and blossom. I mean, the music created, the love that I see among them, and the hope in their eyes just inspire me.

I have not really been through many traumatic things in my life. I have never gone paralyzed, had cancer, or anything like that, but I do know that there is a loving God in heaven that watched over me.

I thought that losing my Father was the hardest thing that I would have to go through in my life. I mean, I guess you could pin that as my traumatic thing, but it did not stop me. It was like a speed bump. A short thing that you must cross over with your car.

I remember when I was probably 15 or 16, hanging out with some friends. My friend Danny would drive a lot, because none of us had out licenses. I felt bad, and would give him gas money when I could. Our one friend...Darren...lived in a neighborhood with what we called "mile-high speed bumps." They were so bad, that we would have him sometimes meet us at the front of his development.

Anyway, those speed bumps would always scrape the bottom of the car, but the car kept running. It was a Beretta that he drove. They are small cars! Anyway, it kinda felt like that, like I was the car, and I was driving myself. I saw it up ahead the whole time, my Father's death. I just could do nothing to stop it. Prolonging it was keeping him on the medication, and keeping him alive. All he wanted to do at a certain point was go home to be with his Daddy(God). So, during that time, me as my little car self went over the "mile-high speedbump" of him passing away. It was hard, and it is still hard some days, but I get through it.

My friends will too, and they will be better, more enlightened, people for it.

Fireproof...

So, last night I watched a movie with a bunch of friends called Fireproof. The movie was not at all academy-award winning. I don't think Kirk Cameron is a great actor, nor do I find any of the other actors and actresses great.

It did however have a good message. I mean, Kirk Cameron is a firefighter that is very close to ending his marriage to his wife. He works 24 hour shifts, and then is off for two days. He doesn't help around the house. His wife just works all the time doing PR for a hospital. His Father hands him a book called the Love Dare.

He does it, and comes to God...I won't tell you the rest.

Anyway, so after the movie I immediately thought of my brother and Jamie. I bought them the book in hopes that they might do it, and a change will happen.

It also got me thinking, I mean, I am very very very far from being a perfect person. I, in no way, have called myself that. Being a perfect person would come with a lot of responsibility. I mean, Jesus, man, he had a lot going on, and he was perfect.

This presents me with a challenge for myself, a "Dare" if you will. These basic principles could be applied to my walk with God, right? I mean, in the movie when they are next to that cross, and his Father asked him how can you love someone unconditionally, when all they do is hurt you? Of course this was referencing God's love for us, but really, it is kind of a personal dare. What am I going to let God do in my life. How am I going to let him change me? Will I do that?

Who knows? Only God does.

I am not so good at this...

I am just not so good at this blogging thing. My week was a little bit traumatic. I worked the weekend for the first time, and it went smoothly. I also came down with a sickness called hand, foot, and mouth disease. It has got to be the weirdest thing ever.

Monday, I had a day off, and had lunch with my friend Bill. Him and I went to Iron Hill, and it was nice. We went there and had a nice lunch, and I came home. Although, I noticed that I wasn't really hungry. I went on about my day, and went to the after school program, where I volunteer. I made the posters, and some other things that needed to be done for the bible lesson. It was fine, but I just got really, really hot there. I had been really cold earlier on in the day. So, after things were over, I went home and took my temperature.

It was 102.7. It started at 100.7, and just progressively got worse. I went to bed early that night, freezing cold, but sweating all night.

I woke up the next morning and the temperature had passed. I wrote it off as some kind of freak thing that happened, and went to work. After work, I went to the Limestone Medical Aid Unit. I met a really nice Nurse Practitioner. I peed for them, and then was prescribed an antibiotic. I went to work the next morning like normal, went to get labs drawn, Panera, then class.

Thursday I went to work, but noticed my hands were very bumpy and itchy. I showed a nurse and asked her what it was. She said that I should go home, and also that I should see a doctor.

So, here I am, don't rock me like a hurricane. I have been house-bound for about a day and a half. I am going stir-crazy.

When life hands you lemons...make lemonade, right?

been awhile...

I was reading an article on the internet about blogging, and how to properly do it. It said that you should blog every day, and be consistent with it.

I have to disagree on this one. Blogging means so many different things to so many different people. Some people blog to let loose, and let their feelings flow. Some people blog because they want their ideals out there. I blog simply because it makes me happy. I get to let the world(or whoever might read this), know how I feel, and what I want to do about it...which is nothing, but it is interesting to think about the rules of blogging.

I don't agree that there should be "rules". I mean, I read the blog of a guy that I met, and it was extremely cynical with a link to the anarchist's cookbook and things like that. Not my style...

It is so simple to just blog. No rules...no pre-conceived notions. Just good...clean...fun.

Well, something else I have been thinking about has been bothering me. So, as a Christian, I am supposed to leave the judging to God, right?

Well, I am also human. I do my best not to judge people, but when I get cut-off on the highway, and under my breath call that person an a**hole, that is my human nature taking over. It is so engrained in our society that it is okay to do that. It is not. How can I stop myself? Why is it that this is so hard?

God help me...and he will.